Right thought | wrong speech

We all do it. We all excuse it.
When is gossip right speech and when is it just wrong?

In many teacher trainings, discussions about the Yamas and Niyamas are often condensed into easily digestible concepts.

Satya = truthfulness, right speech, non-gossip…sorta. It’s much more complicated than that but it’s a good start.

Every workplace, including yoga studios and fitness clubs, has a policy against malicious gossip. If you’ve ever needed to go to human resources to address it, you know that the line between malicious and unintended is broad and mobile.

When is gossip a positive? Here are three areas to consider:

Are you sharing your personal experience or speculating about others?  Malcolm Gladwell talks a little about the other minds problems in his book, What the Dog Saw. That’s the phrase psychologists use to describe our innate curiosity about the interior lives of others. How often do we ask, what do you think about this? Tell me more about that? It’s fact vs fiction.

Are you exploring bigger concepts or just looking for angry allies? Discussions that are often, and sometimes rightly, avoided at work can be had with close work-friends with respect and integrity. Talking about cultural antagonisms, social movements or even the weather can be an honest exchange for deeper understanding. But, phrases like “don’t you agree that…” are a form of peer pressure that are often used to gather support an unstated agenda.

Humour vs snark. Many people love a catty sense of humour. It takes time to get to that level with work-friends. Friendly jabs at those who are present can be fun. A friendly jab at someone not present who has already heard it directly on other occasions can be on the line. A ‘friendly’ jab at someone called out or named, who is not present and has no idea tends to go over the line.

We all do it. We all excuse it. When is it right speech and when is it just wrong?


Check out this interesting article on how to “Gossip Like a Leader”

LeadeshipFreak

 

One last savasana

How do you handle grief in the classroom?

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I remember the first time I heard about a yoga student dying. I was just a few years into my practice and the teacher announced the death of a regular student from cancer. She was only 40-something. And, one of a hundred faces I saw in class every day. I never knew her name or noticed when she stopped coming.

But, yogis aren’t supposed to die.

Since then, I’ve had to mourn two of my teachers, Larry Schultz and Sri K Pattabhi Jois. Yoga teachers don’t live to be 108 years old.

Yogis are people. We live. We practice. If were lucky, we grow old and then die.

But, as a teacher, what if a student dies?

I have several septuagenarians and octogenarians in my regular classes. They are amazing and an inspiration to me, and everyone who meets them. But, there have been some close calls. One bad fall, a complication in surgery, an issue with a chronic health condition can be fatal.

When a student isn’t in class for a while, I wonder. I’m afraid that I’ll never see them again.

Coping with loss can affect all of us. How can a teacher hold a space while grieving?

  1. Ask the studio if there is a protocol for handling the death of a regular student
  2. Ask the family or friends if they’d like a special class to remember the life of that student
  3. Acknowledge your own sadness, to yourself and others
  4. Remember, “it’s not about you”. It’s the natural cycle of life
  5. Talk to your fellow teachers. Your community of co-workers can support you